How my Friend's Introduction Sparked My Creative Journey - A Return to Self

SUNDAYS with Spence - a monthly newsletter/blog that feels like a Sunday (even if it doesn’t hit your inbox exactly on a Sunday because we are letting go of perfectionism!!!)

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My friend Michelle introduced me as an artist this weekend. I was meeting a gallerist and colleague of hers, and as she introduced me, she led with, “she’s an artist”, before listing the other things that I do/am. It hit me unexpectedly, this moment where I realized that even I don’t lead with “artist” when sharing who I am to people. It struck me; this is the most foundational part of my personhood and existence, and was something that I rarely lead with.

It was giving a major “duh” moment. Like one of those times where everything clicks, and your vantage point is forever changed. Of course that is what I should lead with. Of course she is an artist. Of course I am. I know, I know - a little context might help make this make a bit more sense if we don't know each other personally. You see, I never grew up believing that being an artist was an actual possibility. I had never met anyone who made a living off of things that they created, and especially not someone who was both Black and a woman. That’s a mindset that I clearly am still grappling with, which I believe is a major contributor to the extreme artist block that I experience.

But Michelle’s words sparked something in me. I was reminded of the words of Scott Woods, a Columbus-based poet, writer, and cultural critic. He said, “never let them forget you’re an artist”, repeating this simple bit of unsolicited advice often. The first time I read those words, I thought - “never let them forget?! Screw them [no offense I mean this metaphorically!!].  I need to never let MYSELF forget I’m an artist.” After reflecting on it for a bit, I realized that that’s the fundamental nudging of his words. The only way that you can never let people forget that you’re an artist, is by YOU never forgetting.

It is about dedicating yourself to your craft. A person who is dedicated to anything rarely gets questioned about their values and priorities. A person dedicated to their artistry inherently exudes this - and it is through that “being” and “doing” that makes people unable to forget. Makes you unable to forget what you're created to be. And there it was. A moment where I was reminded that other people remember things about me that I had managed to forget.

I saw a TikTok the other day that said, “the only person that’s doubting whether you can do it or not is you” and girl - the annoying accuracy. But one thing I’m grateful for is new beginnings. Im grateful for the belief and understanding I have that every moment that you’re alive is an opportunity to change course: to switch gears and jump into alignment. I’m grateful that I fully believe that what’s important isn’t figuring out how to become something I’m not; it’s about tapping into what has always been there.

Also….I need some discipline! I truly believe that being full of creativity that is not appropriately channeled is bad for the health of artists. While I 100% believe this, I also know that getting back on the metaphoric horse ain’t always that easy. After recently being diagnosed with a few drizzles of neurodivergence, I recognize that this struggle to focus and practice discipline isn't a character flaw [like I used to believe] - it's just a part of my journey that I can accept and continue to find ways to work with myself to navigate.

I'm stepping into a challenge that I’m hoping will reconnect me to that girl; my inner artist who let herself get just a wee bit lost, but who is determined to find my way back to home base. The dreamer who accidentally forgot she was created to be soft, forgot that she was meant to create beautiful things that feel like love letters about what exists around her. And now, I’m on a crusade to kick creative burnout and artist block to the curb.

A creative that I’ve been deeply inspired by did something called, “daily deposits” last year, where she pushed herself to be more consistent in her craft by disciplining her mind, body, and soul. She oftentimes reminded her community to “create more that you consume”, a reminder that is sure to kick any creator into gear [or a super solid guilt spiral...?]. But that's the exact energy I'm deciding to channel. Below is my commitment to myself (because we write things out and make them plain around these parts!!) - feel free to connect with me if you have any questions about this! I’m considering doing a weekly YouTube vid to track updates - if you’re interested in this respond to this email and I’ll make sure you get notified when a new email drops. Okay talk to you soon, love you byeeeee :)

-Spence